AW SHIT ITS A SUPAH ADVENTUR-O
5
WELL SHIT MAN SEE THIS BAD MOTHER*CRAG*ER? HE'S A DOCTOR. TODAY IS A *CRAG*ING SWELL DAY FOR THE DCTOR AND HE IS CHILLIN IN HIS GODDAMN PERSONAL OFFICE. NOT LIKE AN ACTUAL OFFICE JUST A *CRAG*IN WORKSPACE IN HIS HOUSE THAT HE CALLS AN OFFICE. FOR THE SAKE OF THE ADVENTURE YOU GET TO PRETEND YOU ARE THIS MAN WOOHOO. NOW INTRODUCE YOURSELF MANN. WATCHO NAME?
Replies:
Schindler S. List.
OH MAN YOU ARE SOOOOOO HIIIGH RIGHT NOWW WHAT WHERE WE ATALKING ABOUT?
OH YEAH YOUR NAME IS ZILEAN *CRAG*IN HUGE BEARD OR ZILEAN F. HUGEBEARD. YOUR CLIENTS CALL YOU DOCTOR HUGEBEARD BUT SOMETIMES THEY CALL YOU DOCTOR MCPISS*crag*S THOSE CRAZY KIDS HAHA
SO YEAH YOU ARE A MORMON DOCTOR AND YOU HAVE SOME INTERESTS THEY ARE PRETTY COOL. YOU LIKE INTERIOR DESIGN (NO HOMO) ESPECIALLY YOU LIKE DECERATING YOUR HOUSE WITH DEFAULT PATTERNS FROM THE GIMP PHOTO EDITING PROGRAM. YOU SOMETIMES LIKE TO CHILL THE *CRAG* DOWN IN YOUR BEANBAG CHAIR AND FORGET ALL OF YOUR WOES. YOU MAY OR MAY NOT SECRETLY BE A SUPERHERO
BUT IT'S NOT MUCH OF A SECRET
SO NOW THAT YOU KIND OF KNOW WHO YOU ARE WHATCHOO DO?
YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHO THE *CRAG* BORREAL IS BUT YOU SURE AS HELL AREN'T GOING TO LET HIS DEATH GO UNNOTICED. THIS AINT NO *CRAG*IN THIRD WORLD SHITHOLE FROM HELL THIS IS AMERICA AND BY GOD WE ARE GOING TO *CRAG*ING MOURN OUR AMERICAN BROTHERS. OH SAAAYYY CAN YOUUU SEEEE BY THE DAWWWNS EEARRLYLY LIIIIGHT
THAT'S ALL YOU KNOW FROM THE SONG
YOU BUILD A TOMBSTONE FOR THIS BORREAL AND PLACE IT BEHIND YOUR BEANBAG CHAIR. WELL, ITS KIND OF ON TOP OF YOUR BEANBAG CHAIR TOO.
WHAT NOW BITCH
IN THE NAAAAAAAAAAAAAME OF LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE
>Zilean: get on floor
>Everyone: Walk the dinosaur
Contemplate why an eagle flew into your office.
>Walk The Dinosaur
YOU RUN INTO THE HALLWAY AND WALK THE *CRAG*IN DINOSAUR SO HARD ITS *CRAG*IN GOIN OUT OF STYLE MANG DAYUM STRAIT
BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT DISCREETLY CUZ YOUR WIVES ARE SLEEPING IN THE NEXT ROOM. YOU HAVE FIFTEEN WIVES AND TWO BITCHES.
SOME MIGHT SAY YOU JUST AHVE SEVENTEEN BITCHES.
BUT YOU *CRAG*IN RESPECT WOMAN
YOU RESPECT THEM UP THE VAGINA
NOW YOU NEED TO GODDAMN DO SOMETHING NEGRO
BUT WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WILL DO
GODDAMN YOU NEED TO REDECORATE THIS ROOM
ANYWAYS ALL OF YOUR WOMEN ARE SLEEPING
ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD
BUT WAIT!
ITS YOUR THIRD WIFE, SHE IS AWAKE. HER NAME IS SALLY SWEETPEA, OR AT LEAST YOU THINK IT IS. EITHER WAY THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL HER. YOU NOTICE SOMETHING IS OFF WITH HER OUTLINE AND SHE SAYS SHE HASN'T PUT HER MAKEUP ON YET. PSSHHH, WOMAN. ALWAYS WITH THEIR GODDAMN MAKEUP.
SHE ASKS IF YOU'VE BOUGHT THE MILK YET. YOU KINDLY DEMAND THAT SHE SHUTS THE HELL UP AND YOU TELL HER THAT YOU ARE GONIG TO GO BUY THE *CRAG*ING MILK RIGHT NOW AND WHEN YOU DO SHE CAN HAVE ALL OF THAT SWEET SWEET MILK ALL OVER HER GODDAMN FACE.
SHE SEEMS THRILLED.
>>do it you kike enabling *crag* monkey
YOU GIVE OUT YOUR PATTENTED THUMBS UP DOCTOR SIGNAL YOU GIVE TO THE OTHER *CRAG*IN DOCTORS TO TELL THEM WHEN YOU ARE READY. YOU DON'T QUITE KNOW WHAT THE *CRAG* YOU ARE READY FOR BUT YOU ARE A GODDAMN DOCTOR AND YOU ARE ALWAYS READY MMM'KAY? *CRAG*IN HATERS ALL UP IN YOUR SHIT SAYIN YOU AINT EVER GONNA BE READY BUT YOU ARE SHOWING THEM RIGHT NOW. BITCHES.
OH BUT GODDAMN DOES YOUR HEAD HURT. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING NOT A DAMN THING FOR ABOUT FOUR MONTHS BUT OBVIOUSLY THATS NOT TRUE CUZ ITS ONLY BEEN ABOUT TEN MINUTES.
YOU HAVE SOMEKIND OF TASK THAT YOU WERE TASKED TO TASK OUT. SOMETHING ABOUT SOME SORT OF DAIRY PRODUCT PERHAPS? OR MAYBE A BEVERAGE. CERTAINLY NOT A COMBINATION OF THE TWO WHO THE *CRAG* DO THEY THINK YOU ARE DAIRY BEVERAGE DOCTOR? WELL NO SADLY YOUR APTIDUDE TOWARDS THE CONJIRING OF CONFECTIONARY CONCOCTIONS IS PRETTY DAMN LOW YOU COULD NEVER DREAM OF CREATING SUCH A COMBINATION AT THIS LOW OF A LEVEL.
PERHAPS YOU WILL WAIT FOR SOME SORT OF GUIDANCE?