In many ways, Aldous Huxley was right -- our entertainment technology has made us a happily complacent species, imprisoned by our own electronic conformity mechanisms. George Orwell was also correct on a few theories of invasive government control. No one was more correct, however, than the great modern philosopher Erik Wolpaw and his overarching theses on Portal theory and lemons. Now, all of these dystopias have merged into one: GLaDOSiri on the iPhone 4S.

Apple's Siri system enables natural-language voice control for a myriad of uses on the iPhone 4S, and GLaDOSiri makes all of those so much more masochistic, just the way we like it. If this were a real thing, we'd be all over it like children on Soma.