Yes, you’re asleep. Yes, this is a dream. There can’t be any other explanation for this: the game that shouldn’t be, couldn’t be, is. Duke Nukem Forever is finished, Gearbox Software have announced. It’s gone gold. It’s coming to a PC near you next month.

Or at least it would be, were this not a dream. (It’s not a dream). (Or is it?) (It isn’t). (Or is it?)