A recent press release published by video game distributor Lace Mamba Global is ... well, it's the best thing we've ever read. Imagine you've never heard of Super Meat Boy before, okay? It would seem like a pretty cut-and-dry announcement: "Lace Mamba Global is proud to announce that it is bringing the Ultra Edition of the independently developed gaming blockbuster Super Meat Boy to retail shelves in the UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, France, Italy, Spain, Scandinavia, and the Benelux countries."

Pretty normal stuff, right? The presser reveals a Q3 2011 release window, and mentions that the company will announce pricing details in the near future. Okay, makes sense so far. Then, with no preface, it drops this: "In the platforming game Super Meat Boy, people play a boy without skin. His girlfriend, who is made of bandages, gets kidnapped by a fetus in a tuxedo wearing a top hat and a monocle." Hey, press release? Don't try to sneak that in there like it's not the craziest sentence anyone's ever written, okay?